Via Valleywag. Silly Nicholas left his camera in the car. So a funny thing happened at the Zuckerberg Facebook keynote today. Dude was being interviewed by Sarah Lacy, some lady tech journalist. Maybe she missed that one week in J school where they instruct you how to interview people, but man oh man was it a […]

Via Valleywag. Silly Nicholas left his camera in the vehicle.

So a funny thing happened at the Zuckerberg Facebook keynote today. Dude was being interviewed by Sarah Lacy, some lady tech journalist. Maybe she missed that one week in J school where they instruct you how to interview people, but man oh man was it a train wreck. She spent more time flirting with Z, reminding him over and over again how rich he’s (tact!) and how young he’s than asking him about Facebook and is future.

At one point after a particularly awful question, she goes, “Leslie Stahl moment.” Never mind that the crowd, filled with normal human beings, has no idea who Leslie Stahl is or what makes a Leslie Stahl moment. Z replied, “You have to ask questions!” The crowd erupted into mass applause. People were hooting and hollering like on the Arsenio Hall show, belittling her terrible interview skills and her semi standoffish personality. Then she goes to the crowd, “You don’t know how hard my job is. Oh boy were there boos. Not me, though, I’m a professional. I was just amazed at how poorly she handled a crowd. She’s no Rich Vos.

So below is the notes I took of the keynote. I would’ve liveblogged it, but there was no Wi-Fi.

Keep in mind, nothing really huge or “newsworthy” happened at the keynote. Z admitted that he would like to one day take Facebook public, but not right now. The story here, and the story you’ll read on all the pertinent sites is that the crowd absolutely turned on Sarah Lacy. It’s her fault, completely. Whatever.

Verbatim, my notes.

This isn’t a live blog of Earth President Mark Zuckerberg speaking about stuff. It’s not because there’s no Wi-Fi at the SXSW 2008 main stage. Yes, it’s a technology conference without any worthwhile technology. What this is, however, is a static post of a live blog—he speaks, I type, then I post later. The world is flat.

Let me set the scene. Have you ever been in a large room with lots of chairs? Then you know exactly what this is.

2:01 local time. They’re playing “cool” music. You know, because we’re all young at heart. (It’s actually that Daft Punk/Kanye song, if you’re interested. Unless it was Paul van Dyk mixing live, or all four Beatles, I wasn’t going to be impressed.

2:04. The lights have dimmed. Something exciting’s going to happen!

2:05. Some woman is asking him questions. He’s pontificating about how Facebook is helping the world communicate.

2:07. Re: Spanish language. Something about Colombian users revolting against the government using Facebook. So, Facebook helps topple popularly elected governments. I guess that’s one way to sell the site.

2:08. Q–what’s so special about fb? Why can’t people just communicate using the World wide web. A–um, Facebook is more efficient.

2:10. Facebook and terrorism. Lots of users in Lebanon. Z just stated that terrorism is caused by lack of communication and empathy. So… Facebook will also end terrorism. Aren’t journalists supposed to question things and not take them at face value? I don’t know, I’m crazy.

2:11. Wow, this could be the worst interview ever. Like, this chick, probably about a 13 on the 1-30 scale, is speaking about nothing. She’s talking but nothing is being stated. Leslie Stahl moment. What hath God wrought?

2:14. FB and philanthropy. The One campaign is harassing an Illinois congressman because he promised his constituents that he wouldn’t vote to spend a dime for non-Americans. Enter FB. Z thinks the One campaign shouldn’t have to exist. Too top-down, needs to be more bottom-up.

2:18. Web 1.0 v Web 2.0.

2:20. FB launches in French tonight. Will “Facebook” have to be translated to meet the Academy’s standards?

2:21. FB needs to make money. Google, Microsoft buying companies left and right but not making any money.

2:22. Only a small number people in the conference room are taking notes, leading me to believe that people are hear simply to listen to this man talk. History is ended. Oh! Some guy just shouted “Beacon sucks!” Whoa! It actually threw Z of his pace.

2:23. Microsoft’s help, is MSFT happy. We’re happy, they’re happy. Do banner ads work? Yeah, enough.

2:25. Not quite there yet re: Beacon-ish ads. This girl keeps saying that he’s young. We get it.

2:26. Beacon. WTF, she asks. Literally, w-t-f. Social networking services. FB not trying to invent everything re: social services. Hence, API. Other sites. Social ads (beacon) was supposed to be great because friends purchase things on the web so it’s seen as an endorsement.

2:30. News feed that launched fall, 2006 and the privacy uproar. Does FB inherently conflict with privacy? No, people choose whom to share info with. 20-25% have phone number on fb.

2:31. Applications. Criticisms, apps are frivolous. Apps that produce trustworthy useful apps will be able to be more available.

2:33. iTunes. Z says he doesn’t know. Speak to lots of companies, music not really fb’s bag. No comment re: FT article.

2:35. She plugged her dumb book.

2:36. Forbes states he’s youngest billionaire but he’s not focused on that. Focused on making communication better. How to meet Google-like expectations. Value of company should mirror world value. Not opposed to IPO, “will probably do that at some point”

2:40. FB’s goal isn’t to go public like other companies.

2:42. Revolving door management.

2:44. Overheard–I can’t take any more of this, I’m out of here. God bless that man. They’re losing the crowd. I think the chick’s last cute comment was one too many.

2:46. Management talk, nothing really for us.

2:50. Does Z like being CEO? He thinks CEO sets company’s tone. States FB is a technology company not a media company.

2:52. Some dude’s ringtone is that Chemical Brothers song. That’s the highlight of the show.

2:53. Holy shit! OK, this is the highlight. Chick asks some rambling nonsense question. Z gives her the wtf are you speaking about look. She states, another leslie stahl moment. Then Z states, you have to ask questions. Crowd goes wild like the rock just walked in. Dudes stand up, applaud Z’s calling her out on being a dunce. Then she states she threw water on Arrington. Boss, is that true.

2:56. YO ITS CRAZY. SHE HAS LOST THE CROWD, INTERVIEW OVER. QUESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE NOW. She literally said, you try doing what I do for a living. Not smart, lady. One of the question dudes completely slammed the chick. He’s a smartass

3:05. Is FB messaging broken? No one cares anymore, keynote is cashed.

fin.

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 8:13 am and is filed under Life Gadgets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.